I miss the silent connection.

Waking up from the racing mind before my alarm goes off, I thought to myself. I am so tired all the time these days. The people around me say that, too.

I wonder if I am tired of making the resultless effort of bonding, making connections; filling the emotional void with zoom calls, phone calls, loud chats across the streets, when really, all I need is just a hug. Just a mutually comfortable silence in the car. Just a feeling of firm arms of solidarity around my shoulders.

It is tiring. Reaching for something or someone and feeling like you didn’t get anywhere. It is tiring to do community work amongst endless marathons of social distancing.

I miss the silent company of people.

That’s what my loud mind was thinking this morning.